Developing Self Esteem Is A Dynamic Process

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Developing self esteem and self concept

From childhood we are developing self esteem and self concept. As life nurtures and challenges our personal growth, our experiences and impressions form the basis of our beliefs and values. Our personal core values and beliefs are two of the greatest factors that impact building self esteem and self concept.

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Personal Database

All of our personal experiences,.. our interactions with others, the jobs we perform, the roles we undertake,.. they
all combine to create our own unique database of behaviors. We use this database as our reference library that we draw from to identify how we think and feel about ourselves.

In order to form an opinion about ourselves, we extract numerous behavioral examples from the database that are all related to one another. We compare our own performances of the behavior with our world knowledge about it.

Our self concept is formed based on how we believe we performed in relation to our accumulated 'world knowledge'.

For example, if we always 'have a place for everything and everything is in it's place', and believe these are the traits of an organized person, then our self concept may well be that we are very organized.

If we act organized and highly value organization, then we will have healthy self esteem for that trait.

Developing self esteem stems from:

self approval
appreciation of self
acceptance of self in relation to our:

actions
personal core values and beliefs

In other words, we experience high self regard when we have applied ourselves to a task and it demonstrates integrity with our beliefs and values.

Therefore, self understanding of personal beliefs and values is necessary to get a clear picture of oneself. This clarity is the first step to boosting self esteem.

Further clarity comes to us from addressing our subconscious power. By ensuring our subconscious thoughts are supporting our conscious desires, we are firing on all cylinders for the same cause.

Change Encourages Developing Self Esteem and Self Concept

As change occurs it is natural to undergo self reassessment, and even those with normally high self esteem and self confidence may at times experience personal confusion, self doubt, and overwhelm. This is indeed part of life, and there is no one other than us in the end that can 'pick us up, dust us off, and continue on our journey'.

Let's say you have always seen yourself as reliable, always doing what you say you will. Then something changes in your life and you no longer act on your word as you have in the past. Maybe your work has become more demanding so you no longer make it home by 5pm as you say you will. Or perhaps you feel you have less disposable money, so although you say you'll make a date for the movies, you don't.

You can appreciate that there may be a discrepancy in the way you now think about yourself. Your self concept may be asking, "Am I reliable or unreliable?" If you highly value reliability, your developing self esteem will also experience inner discord. This is one cause of poor self esteem.

Often we don't consciously recognize the particular thing that is causing a problem for us. Some behaviors and feelings that point to a problem include:

engaging less with those people or activities that we love
drinking a bit more alcohol
getting upset for no particular reason
out of sync with our regular sleeping pattern
generally lacking energy
experiencing a general feeling of discord,.. a hazy sense that 'something is not right in our kingdom'

It might be that a partner, or someone very close to us, recognizes changes in our behavior before we are even aware of it. It can be confronting to hear this from someone else, yet this is an opportune nudge to identify that something is not quite right in ourselves.

Whether behavioral or emotional change triggers awareness of inner conflict, the root of the problem may seem hidden. Where is it hidden? An excellent place to start looking is our subconscious.

The next step is to identify what the stumbling block is and clear it so that we journey on toward a sense of strong clear self empowerment.

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