Distant Memories

by Thai Thach
(Inala, Queensland, Australia)

I hate this town. It's filled with memories I'd rather forget. Every day that I spend at school is no different. I feel that six hours of my life is wasted every time I walk past these school gates. What was my purpose in life? I have no idea.

"Hello mate".
Troy. He was the only person who I've ever conversed with ever since my time at school. I met him outside the office a while ago. He had gotten into a fight with seniors from the soccer club and I also had a fight outside the school. To me, he was simply a short blonde kid. His face cracked me up so much. It was the first time I had ever laughed so much in school. Ever since then, we've been hanging out and doing stupid things.

The first lesson of the day was about to begin.
"Hey, Tom", said Troy
"What is it?" I responded.
"You should come to my cousin's warehouse sometime. I'll give you some heroin. You’ll love it." he said.
To be honest, I didn't know he took drugs. Usually him and I would loiter around town and vandalise buildings to get rid of stress. I never once thought of using such means to forget about my troubles in life.

"No thanks." I said.
"Well, if you ever change your mind, here's the address."
He handed me a piece of paper containing the address. I never once considered it, but I accepted the piece of paper not wanting to look discourteous. I looked at the address, but my attention on it was less than five seconds.

The school hours went by sooner than anticipated. I was on my way home. Each facility that I came past only brought back lingering memories. I wonder if anything will ever change.

It was no different when I arrived home.
"Oh... Tom. It seems like I've caused you trouble again."
Laying there was my father. He was nothing but a drunk and a deceitful person. When I was an infant, my mother died giving birth to me. These days, I guess he hasn't been working a lot and usually, he gambles his earnings away to waste time. I can understand what he's been going through, but still. We may live in the same house, but our lives are completely separate. Deep down, I know that he's all alone in this world.

I went into my room to start working on an assignment that was issued in Health class. As I was working through the questions effortlessly, I stopped at the last question. It required me to research the drug Heroin and find out its behavioral effects. The moment I read a paragraph from a website, I was astonished. Apparently, 'most users become incapable of concentration, learning, or clear thought. They also become antisocial and characteristically indifferent to injury and pain.' I didn't want to visualize what Troy was going through.

Unexpectedly, my father strolled into my room. I looked at him with disgust. I could smell the liquor on him and for the first time, I noticed that he was actually getting thinner. His skin was gnarled like a bark of tree and blood vessels stood out as if fighting for life. He was definitely drunk.

"HEY! Tom, I have some beer for you."
"Are you serious...? What am I to you!? Stop treating me like a stranger and leave me the hell alone!" I snapped.

He dropped the bottle of alcohol and like the relationship with my father; it shattered before any drop could be experienced. He dashed towards me and had his hand on my shoulders while pushing me backward. For the first time, I feared him just by looking into those bloodshot eyes. I shut my eyes not knowing what was going to happen next. I noticed something behind me break and as soon as I opened my eyes, I felt that my shoulders were numb. I examined my left shoulder and found that blood was flowing out. I looked around the room to find that my window was shattered. From that moment, I knew that I couldn't deal with it anymore.

Without thinking, I fled the scene. Blood was still flowing out of my left shoulder and it was raining heavily outside, but I didn't care. I wanted to be anywhere but home at this point in time. It was out of the question to go back. I didn't have anywhere to go, but I was running like my life depended on it. Where was I headed to? My body instinctively turned left and right at each end of a street, suddenly I fell down.

For the first time in eight years, I cried. Tears came flowing out of my eyes like the heavy rain. I couldn't lift my left arm anymore and I could barely breathe because it was raining so heavily. I wanted to forget everything that just happened, but obviously this was going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I looked up at the street sign and it read "Borton Street". I felt like I saw the name of it somewhere but I've never been here, then it hit me. I pulled the piece of paper out of my pocket and as soon as I looked at it, my eyes widened in shock. I heard someone's footsteps approaching me from behind.

"Hey mate! You're actually here."

Personal Development Challenges

Wow... here's a situation that offers a great personal development challenge. It clearly illustrates some of the potential influences we encounter in developing our belief systems.

• Authority - the educational research


• Tradition - parental influence


• Association - friendships

Amidst these influences, Tom obviously had his own motivations to get out of the severe situation. The story shows a lot of motivation to 'move away' from a bad situation. But the most apparent option inviting motivation to 'move toward' a resolution was the drug.

Can you, the reader, feel the push and pull of influences in this situation? What do you think it indicates about the opportunity and challenges of personal development?

Personal Development home from Personal Development Challenges