Evidence Based Believing
Evidence based believing is created on the basis that evidence has proven to us that one thing causes another. The understanding of causation appeals to the analytical and critical thinking part of your mind.
Developing your belief system through this method is very rationale and based on the use of logical thinking. The skills associated with evidence based believing develop as we mature, and become more honed through education. In this mode you look for facts. You look at events that are measurable, and where one thing directly causes something else. Scientific studies supply results from research and critically tested hypotheses to support evidence based beliefs.
You can also establish beliefs based on your personal experience of cause and affect. You might continually witness a consistent outcome from your actions. For example:
If you drive a certain route at rush hour, you know you will be 10 minutes late and upset yourself and others. Therefore you believe it's best to take an alternate route during rush hour.
When you make dinner for friends, they express their appreciation, and you feel great. Therefore you know you will get enjoyment by creating dinner for friends.
This method of forming beliefs is also responsible for 'learned helplessness'. If you consistently perform a behavior, and always get a negative outcome, you may come to believe that you have no power or influence in creating what it is you are aiming for.
Because you are always 10 minutes late when driving that certain route at rush hour, and it is the only route possible to take, you know you will be 10 minutes late. You will feel upset, and you will upset others. Therefore, you always feel distressed in this situation.
When you make dinner for friends, no one expresses their appreciation, and you feel like a failure.
Therefore you stop cooking dinner for friends.
The trick in the learned helplessness scenario is to adjust the elements that you can, and accept the things you cannot change. This might possibly include altering the physical elements such as setting alternate meeting times or places, or cooking different meals or inviting different friends! But certainly one thing you can change, through gaining understanding, is how you view these events.
For example, you could say:
If that is the only route possible to take during rush hour, and I cannot change appointment details, I will be 10 minutes late. That is reality.
Therefore, I have 10 minutes in traffic to put to use as I wish by listening to relaxing radio, personal development recordings, or reviewing the things I'm thankful for today. I will explain this situation to any other people affected. Whether they decide to make the best of the situation, is up to them. I am not responsible for how they view reality.
If I cook dinner for friends, and no one expresses appreciation, I can ask myself exactly why it is that I want to cook these dinners.
If you feel like a failure when no one expresses appreciation, then you are likely looking to others to reinforce your self worth. That shows it's time to recognize that your self worth is something always with you. To tap into it, spend some time talking to a life coach for personal development.
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