Five Love Languages
Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is in my category of eye opening self help books. There are certainly some things that you don't know that you don't know... until you know about them! And yes, learning about the 5 love languages, and how they impact lives, has been one such insight for me.
The premise of this personal development book is that every person has a primary mode of communication that makes them feel that they are loved. When a person is 'spoken' to through this particular 'language', their needs of feeling cared about are met. Their love tank is filled!
So, you can understand how important it is to make sure that people around you 'speak your language', and that you speak theirs.
Doing so will ensure that everyone is feeling fulfilled and secure in being loved. Your relationships are much more likely to flourish and grow through the stages of love.
What Are The Languages of Love?
Gary Chapman makes it all very simple... there are only 5 love languages that everyone communicates through. Each person will favor one of these as their primary language, yet will benefit by giving and receiving communication through all of them.
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Receiving gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
Being a good communicator in each of the five love languages has great benefits for everyone. It is a skill to be learned, starting in childhood.
- When raising children it is obviously important to speak to them in the languages of love that are most meaningful to them in order to fill their love tanks. But, Chapman notes that the primary love language of a child is often not apparent until about 5 years of age. Therefore, you want to communicate with them in all 5 ways to ensure you are satisfying what they want.
Even after identifying what the main love language of your child is, you want to continue including all the other modes to ensure that they learn how to effectively express themselves through the other modes.
(You never know what skills they will require in their relationships later in life.)
How do You Feel the Love?
The Five Love Languages book runs through some easy and tell tale signs to look for in order to identify your personal love language.
- What does your partner do or fail to do that hurts most?
- What have you most often requested?
- What made you feel loved when you were a child?
- When you fell in love, what was it that made you feel so great?
- What way do you regularly express love to others?
Now have some fun. Identify the favored languages of love for everyone in your daily life. And then... start to practice spreading the love!
This book should be a must read for people who are planning to get married. A wonderful concept that could change lives and divorce statistics forever.
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