Main Causes of Stress Might Surprise You

What are the main causes of stress, and do you have any influence over them?

Well, most people think that challenging events in life are the primary sources of stress. This is the common belief. However, as you know, 'common' is not always 'correct'.



Let's look first at:

1. some of the incidents that most people think cause stress
2. then look at why those events are not truly at fault
3. and finally determine what the main causes of stress really are

The good news is that there is a cure for stress available and it is within your power to treat yourself. Have you ever heard the phrase "Patient, treat thyself."? The remedy for stress is a perfect example of this. Once you know how to relieve stress, it is up to you to do it.

And if you suffer from stress symptoms (and most people do), you will recognize how important effectively dealing with stress is.

Commonly Cited Sources of Stress

1. Negative experiences:
   • financial difficulties
     • financial disaster... losing all financial resources
     • feeling a monthly financial pinch when trying to balance the bank account
   • healthy living compromised
     • injury or illness of yourself or a loved one
     • the death of a loved one
   • work concerns
     • loss of job
     • fear of loss of job
     • job dissatisfaction
   • family concerns
     • security of a home for the family
     • considerations of education for self or family
     • kids mixing with negative influences
   • relationship difficulties
     • troubles with partners
     • a broken romance
     • disobedient children
     • arguments or poor communication with parents

2. Positive experiences
   • love and marriage
   • moving house
   • childbirth

3. There are also numerous every day situations and events that are seen to potentially cause stress:
   • being late for appointments, or others being late to meet with you
   • forgetting to pick up some groceries or arriving late to the store after it has closed
   • being late returning borrowed items
   • missing a deadline for a work or study assignment
   • road traffic incidence, accidents, or taking the wrong turn to get to your destination
   • teaching a teenager to drive !?!

It's easy to run your eyes over the lists above and see a number of situations where you may have felt stress at one time or another.

Yes, we have all seen these events as the main causes of stress in our lives. The reality though, is that these events are innocent. They are merely neutral events of life, playing out on your stage.

It is the participants and observers in the play that attribute them meaning, and thereby experience them as stressful or not.

Cause of Stress: Event or Interpretation

If a particular event was stressful in itself, every person who experienced that event would be equally stressed. It is obvious that is not the case.

Different people respond differently to the same event.

Consider... arriving in a foreign country with a close companion. Neither of you have ever been there before. You both speak the native language and you have the address and a map to get to your hotel. You jump into a taxi cab and are 15 minutes into the journey when you realize the driver has missed an important turn. You will now be spending more money on the fare, and taking longer to arrive. One of you gets very upset, complaining about the service and the expense. The other is busy saying 'it is no big deal. The few extra dollars is part of the expense of being a tourist... just relax and enjoy the detour.'

What causes stress for one person may not even register a blip of strain on the radar for another person. Three main factors are at work here.

Let's look at the above example of the taxi cab ride, and compare the possible mindsets of the two people that react differently:

1. You attribute meaning based on your frame of reference
   • If you feel stressed it may be that you had previously felt that you had been ripped off by an unscrupulous taxi drive
   • If you did not feel stressed, your past taxi rides may have led you to fun and serendipitous events

2. You attribute meaning based on your priorities and personal core values
   • The stressed persons priority may be on only spending a specific amount of money on this event
   • The non-stressed person may be more flexible with their finances

3. You attribute meaning based on your beliefs
   • The stressed person may believe that life is full of mistakes and this is another irritating example
   • The relaxed person may believe that whatever happens is an experience that offers them insight and opportunity in some way

Individual responses to potentially stressful events vary greatly. Because of this you begin to realize that it is not the events that are the main causes of stress, rather it is how you think about the event and process it that determines how you will feel about it and respond to it.

The Root Cause of Stress

The worrying thought process causing distress can be boiled down to one simple concept... you are arguing with reality!

When you want a situation to be different than it is, and you find it disturbing that life is not going 'your way'... this creates stress in your life. Fighting reality is a sure way to put yourself under pressure.

This is a key understanding in order for you to effectively learn how to relieve stress.

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