Traits associated with poor self esteem include:
The development of high self esteem has sometimes been misunderstood, and therefore not supported. Since healthy self esteem means a person feels good about themselves, some believed it was:
This philosophy omitted the acknowledgment of two fundamental aspects of healthy self esteem:
If they performed to the best of their ability in line with their beliefs and values, they will be boosting their self esteem.
Anyone, child or adult, is innately aware when performing an activity, whether they are trying 'just a little bit', or applying every fiber of their being to the pursuit. There is often also an inner awareness of whether that activity is in line with their beliefs and values.
If a child has no beliefs and values, then this would be the place for parents and teachers to begin the foundation for developing self esteem.
Jumping the fundamental step of nurturing an individuals set of beliefs and values, and instead just claiming that the person is great is counter-productive. It is a bit like weaving 'the emporers' new clothes'. Once he's attired in them, everyone realizes that 'the emporer is wearing NO clothes'!
Encouragement and kind words from others feel great, and play a terrific support role for personal development. Another's approval does not provide the necessary substance to weather ones own personal storms, nor to achieve self empowerment.
Not acting in line with core values will create inner conflict and poor self esteem. For example, if a person holds a high value on being trustworthy, and then finds themselves in a situation where they feel it's necessary to lie, this will create ripples of low self esteem. Personal leadership development will help the person identify the problem, and then change the behavior to be in line with their highest values.
Negative beliefs contributing to poor self esteem can be quite sneaky some times. The person may be repeating
and appearing to do everything to support themselves. The
may be holding on tightly to some negative belief and fighting not to let go. Clearing this contrary mindset will help the person move forward easily.
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