Send Me a Sign When You are Gone

But the signs that you send to assure me have been a gift beyond words.

I find it so unbelievable that your sign just so happens to be a dime.

You see, a friend shared her "Dime Story" with me a few years ago after Mom died as we commiserated over the loss of family members.

Although the dime story is short and simple, it has been cherished by her family for generations.

You see; in this small region of Italy where her family originates there has been a belief that has been passed on from one generation to the next throughout the centuries. They believe that when a loved one passes on they leave a "sign" to those who remain behind.

For untold generations, this family's tradition is to leave a sign that tells the loved ones left behind that they are okay. They leave a sign so that the family is reassured that their loved one has arrived at a better place. They leave a sign to help put the pain and agony of loss to rest. They leave a sign so that the family knows that their heart is with them always. They leave a sign to help their loved ones move through the sorrow and provide a sense of comfort rather than become mired in the pain of loss.

As a loved one passes on, their family members throughout generations have always discovered these "signs". The most recent sign for them has come in the form of a dime. A dime discovered in the most unlikely places and when doubts, pain and anguish threaten to take hold. A dime found to help bring a smile and comfort to the survivors. The dime has been this family’s "sign" for nearly a century now.

It still gives me goose bumps to this day ~ but do you know what happened right after I heard this story? As I left my friend I found a dime in the parking lot. As I continued to find dimes throughout the week and months to come I would share this story with any who would listen. That is how I came to know the "Dime Story".

Seth, thank you for the dime you sent me that day in the church and all the dimes that you have sent ever since.

I remember the moment that Uncle Scott stepped away from the podium and your picture was smiling at us all from the wall of the church. I was shrouded in mind numbing grief, huddled in the pew just trying to get through one moment to the next.

Then an amazing thing happened. I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I still have no recollection of who sat behind me at the church that painful day. But through my haze of paralyzing grief I heard that person's voice whisper to me to look on the floor near my right foot.

I did. And what did I find?

That's right!

I unbelievably found a dime.

I gathered my courage, I made myself stand up, and then I made myself stutter out my discovery to everyone in the church. It was a fitting and wonderful "sign" that you sent to punctuate the ending of Uncle Scott's eulogy sharing of the "Dime Story".

Thank you Seth.

Your dimes have helped me work through my sorrow. Since the time the "Dime Story" was shared at your service, I have consistently found dimes at the most unusual times in the most unlikely places. I sincerely believe that the dimes you leave me are your message for me not to worry. Each and every one has given me reassurance that you are okay. Every bit of reassurance that you have given me forces a smile through my profound grief when I think of losing you. Thank you for sending me dimes!

I know that most people scoff and roll their eyes thinking that I'm silly to have put whatever little faith I might have in a solitary little dime that somehow appears whenever my anguish and doubts become overwhelming. But for me it is much more than that. Each dime sends me a message that gives me a new sense of hope and comfort that everything will be okay. Thank you Seth.

I continue to find the dimes you send. I cherish each and every one. When my inability to comprehend that you have passed on and the numbing grief threatens to paralyze me I find a dime! Thank you. They make me smile. They bring me comfort and reassurance that you are sending a sign that you are indeed in a wonderful heavenly place.

I save all of those special dimes that I find. When I encounter a wishing fountain in a park or even at the mall, I take those dimes and throw them into the fountain, one by one, sending my love back to you with each and every one.

The "Dime Story" has added a new dimension to my life. Finding a dime helps me to get through the seemingly endless agony when I think of you. It helps me to build a little faith, one dime at a time.

I still don't understand. I still can't even begin to comprehend. Why did you die so young? I still become immobilized with grief when I let my mind acknowledge that you are gone from us. When that happens, I reach for one of your dimes to just hold it for awhile and let myself think of the happy times, the silly times, the fun times, the wonderful times that you gave us while you were with us; and I smile at all those cherished memories.

We love you more than we can possibly say and miss you terribly. Keep sending the dimes Seth, they help us move towards healing and managing the pain of losing you.

Although the hole in each of our hearts is impossible to fill, each one of your dimes makes it easier to remember the good times, which temporarily refills this hole with an indescribable sense of hope and comfort. You are forever in our thoughts Seth and you will forever be etched into our hearts and will always be in our prayers.

I love you more than all the stars in the sky and more than all the dimes I'll ever find.

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